Here I am at home, rather than at my beloved lake and cabin. It’s a beautiful summer weekend and I may not swim. For me, there is grasping and sadness! Here is the mind wanting something different, “bulldog mind” that holds and won’t let go. I’ve just finished a few hours of deep meditation, swinging, out in my yard under the giant spruces, followed by some probing questions from Aaron about the ways I create duality; self-identity as the one who is awake and the one who is sleeping; peaceful or angry….
People have asked me how I create the content for classes. We try to build the classes from everyday life; my life and yours. I don’t know about you but sometimes I’m awake and sometimes some very asleep. When I’m asleep, I’m living largely from the everyday mind that grasps and craves; pushes away and fears. I forget who I am and why I’m here. Just the mindfulness that notes “sleeping, sleeping”, or “grasping, grasping,” can lead me to deeper awareness.
How do I know when I’m sleeping? Let me give you a few examples. This week we’ve had some beautiful August weather, warm days and cool nights. It’s been lovely to sit out on my deck. My garden is filled with multi-hued flowers and the little waterfall runs clear. After seeing the weather forecast this morning for 85° sunshine this afternoon, and remembering the fun of playing with my grandkids in the water, I sat out on my deck, mind grasping at, “why can’t I get into the lake? I want to swim!” There were two brilliant red Cardinals at the bird feeder; the blooming butterfly plant was drawing many visitors; the morning breeze felt fresh and filled with sweet scent. And for perhaps 10 minutes I was just lost in grasping, missing all this beauty. Then my dear Banner came running up, nudged me with his cold nose, lifted his paws wanting to play, barking. “Wake up,” he might have been shouting, Life and joy are here in this moment. It’s hard to ignore an exuberant collie!
My son and his family are out there at the lake. The long-awaited joy: one of my sons and his family has just moved to Ann Arbor for a year for a Fellowship at the University. My grandchildren have always lived a continent away, with only an annual weeklong visit each year. Now I’ll get to spend relaxed time with these two young ones. Getting ready for them, I bought some crayons, puzzles, play dough. Lego blocks… I’ll see them this week, maybe at the lake, or not. Here is good! We’ve been having great fun with Legos! But my joy is diminished when mind centers on what I want rather than what is, with gratitude for what is. Mindfulness invites me to see how I’m getting caught in grasping and repeatedly to come home.
Waking up, I’m able to live from my authentic self. I know this experience is true for all of us. In class, guided by Aaron, we focus on what will lead us most fully into knowing and living from our true selves, living with love and joy. There are many supportive practices! I’ve found the “Seven Branch Prayer” especially helpful this week. We can see what blocks that connection and understand how to move beyond such ancient patterns.
The huge variety of mind and body states will arise dependent on internal and external conditions; by that I mean the conditions of the world and the conditions within us; our degree of presence, how open or closed is the heart in that moment. With mindfulness and the loving heart, with positive intention, our entire being begins to shift into living from our true connectedness rather than from separation, living from compassion rather than grasping and fear. When we live in this way, it touches everyone around us.
This is what we are incarnate for!
“May there be peace on earth, and may it begin with me.”
So, John and I derive our class direction from what we’re experiencing in our lives, as we discuss it ourselves and with Aaron; we’ve learned that this will most often connect with you.
Our fall class is titled, “That which is already awake is the path: Awakening to the joy and unconditional love within.” We’ll have some special focus on external issues that predominate in our lives and bring out contracted and conflicted emotions: war in the middle east; the presidential election and the strong catalyst of political words flying around us; environmental issues, and more. Peace cannot be just mental; where is our true peace, true compassion, with world issues and our own personal pain?
Meditation class begins September 24 and continues on alternate Tuesday nights. Each class will include a talk from Aaron, a time for sharing and questions, meditation instruction from John and time of silent practice together. We hope you will join us as we remember together how to live from our already awake and loving selves.
I did get to the lake; no swimming, but joy! And yes, some grasping too.
Love, Barbara
