A bit of lovely nonduality today! Banner (left) and Willow (right)
In one day, they are already loving friends. No Duality
There was a fascinating, friendly back-and-forth at bedtime as they worked out who would sleep
on Banner’s usual bed, and who on the new one.
Banner has become her security blanket as she transitions
from homelessness into a new life, hopefully as my new “Hearing-ear” service dog
Right now, she is just scared and uncertain, but so gentle.
New photo in 2 weeks when she has her first full-out bath and grooming

Willow with one of my sons and granddaughter. He grew up brushing collies, of course.
The rule was, “If you walk them (in woods with thistles and burrs), you brush them!

Aaron ended the last log with the words:
I believe some bit of your personal retreat journal reflections would clarify these teachings. Please include them below. That is all.

From Barbara’s journal, Jan 30 and 31, 1995 (30 years ago!)

Private journal, Jan. 30, 1995: Looking at this faint sense of dis-ease that seems often to be with me. I don’t feel strong pain from fear, unworthiness, shame, jealousy or other such emotions much any more; am very at peace and content. But there is this faint dis-ease. What is it? Most of it is not personal, just “human condition.” Dukha! The human who wears an ego. Time to meditate.

Jan. 31 Tuesday. How can we know God? We know its attributes: kindness, patience, love for example. We cannot know God any more than the drop of water knows the experience of the sea, but there is nothing within us that is not God. We may begin to investigate all we are, and thus to know Him. If we are kind and take that kindness as far as we can, it will lead us to God. If we are moral, patient, have faith, etc., follow any attribute, it will lead us Home. Without duality, are not the opposites also God? Can we follow anger, despair, jealousy? Can we experience anger all the way and not arrive at compassion? These also lead us home.

Sitting. My son has a meeting and must leave at 7:00. Dinner is in the oven and I need to get it out, make the salad, get his dinner ready. Seeing resentment as the sitting is very settled and I don’t want to go and cook. “A teenager should be able to …” Just watching the opinions arise. No contraction around the contraction. There IS anger but total equanimity with it. The anger is experienced in the gut, not so much in the energy field. Hard to describe, but it is different. There is no contraction of the energy field, no holding, no trying to make anything happen. Just watching the resentment. When I watch it in this open way there’s room to see the part that wants to give – openhearted generosity that finds joy in serving food to my son.

Moving to today: lessons from Willow. She has a very loving nature and yet is also afraid of so much. I spent two hours sitting with her on a leash, on the deck this morning. She was startled by the blowing of the large shade umbrella in a breeze; by the deck sliding door opening and closing; by Hal’s dropped fork. She has no idea how to turn to a human for comfort, though does turn to Banner a bit. Yet she is totally sweet and gentle. Every time she startled, leapt up and tried to run, I held her back gently with the leash, talked to her, patted her and eventually she settled down. What does it take to release a lifetime of fear conditioning?

Fear: a mammalian reflex, not just mammals actually but for any living thing. If we say, “no fear” no anger, no grasping,” we don’t learn what we came into the incarnation to learn, to hold presence with what has arisen and not get caught into self-identity with the emotion.

I was raised in a loving family, but also told often, ”Barbara, don’t be angry” and even “don’t be afraid; don’t be sad…” I’d guess you were too.

It’s easier to see the conditioning and its release in a dog; she is so authentic. The old conditioning is there, but also, it releases fairly quickly. We’ll see how she does with lots of love and reassurance. Isn’t that what we all need?

Willow (left) and Banner (right) relaxing after a long morning,

Hal, with severe post-stroke aphasia, can already say Willow.
She overcomes her trembling fear to accept a treat.
He has also adored these collies through 55 years.

Even Joey the cat (on chair back) seems to have overcome his fear of her.
She was totally gentle with him.