My younger two grandchildren often seem to inspire these blogs.
Remembering there is joy in the climb, not just in reaching the top!

Last weekend in the workshop, spirit spoke some about right effort. I see how often I lose the joy of the effort, looking for the result. These days, I tire faster, with less energy, and it feels like there is so much that must be done! Today I set out to cut up what I could of the tree that came down in the recent storm. It’s 50 yr old mulberry and will warm us well next winter. Ten years ago, I would have just grabbed my chainsaw and cut, a day’s work. Now it seemed like a formidable task, especially since I’ve promised Hal I’d no longer use the big chain saw. (there is a little one too, 8” blade, used in one hand, and I CAN use that while sitting on my walker). I saw the sadness of a body that no longer can do what it once could instead of the joy at what I still can do! And I forgot so quickly that this is not about doing, just presence. Cut, lay the small branch aside, rest. Look up and around and enjoy the beautiful day…. Relax! Repeat.

Clinging brings suffering; I know that! I only cut 5 branches! Okay. Five a day will see it cut by fall. Aaron asks, “Did you enjoy doing it?” Yes! So this summer, several times a week, I will engage in mulberry cutting meditation!

What blocks the joy of doing? With loss of presence, with grasping, I’m not in this moment, but back 50 years, when this body was so strong and capable. I see the part of me that doesn’t want to let go into a downward slide. Interestingly, I have no fear of death. It’s the illness and helplessness that may precede death that scares me; it keeps me either back 50 years, or ahead to  a likely time  when I am truly helpless. So many others share the same feelings.

What is helplessness? “Who” is helpless, or “who” is powerful in this moment? For that matter, what is power?

Now I have been sitting, by my large window (indoors because of rain) for over an hour. The rain is powerful, touching everything, but gently. It does so by presence, not demand. (well, yes; there is the occasional flood).This hour of sitting with eyes open, resting in awareness, I’ve been gently reminding myself that I already am the rain, am the soft breeze I see touching the treetops, am the sunshine too. This is the power of bearing witness; of loving intention. Only old fear and its stories block our true power.