Basic dharma: All conditioned things will pass away. Grasping to hold on to conditioned things causes suffering. The only thing that remains with us is the Unconditioned.
What is that unconditioned in my life? Am I open to experience it?
A friend’s answering machine had this message yesterday (with light editing):
“I decided today I’d spend some time being grateful for what I’m able to do
Rather than dwell on what I used to be able to do.”
At the lake, my usual access to the swim beach is by kayak, paddling through the lilies from the boat dock to swim area a few hundred yards down the lake.(grandson in photo).I can no longer walk the 1/8-mile path. Ten years ago, I bought a kayak so i could paddle down. But now the water is too shallow here; 10 feet out from this raft is where my kayak beached 3 weeks ago, leaving me with injuries from having to crawl out.
I was sore, angry, , and heartbroken, seeing no way to swim. Then friends mowed an 8-foot-wide swath out from the boat dock, through the dense lilies. Here it is partly open.
It’s shallow, and still with some weeds, but Saturday and Sunday I was able to swim through it into the open lake beyond the lilies and have an hour-long swim each day. The swimming really helped my sore body. The opening will help all boaters too.
My squash has some first signs of fruiting. And one of Hal’s caregivers has just weeded this garden for me, since I still cannot access it. But I will!
In each of these situations, I’m looking at the loss (cannot swim in the swim area; cannot weed my garden; and the gift of loving generosity and friendship. If I can’t do it myself, a way will open. Or maybe not, and I can let go. Gratitude! And receiving with joy! Letting go with trust, ropen to see what will come in its place!
A loving friend is mowing my lawn this summer; see how beautiful it looks in the photo below! What a generous gift. Gratitude!
A long-time student gifted me with very generous dana that will pay part of the shortfall for three months on the $10,000/ month I must pay for Hal’s care. This financial pressure has been a huge weight on me the past 6 months. Before Jan 2025, with its DOGE changes, Medicaid paid about $5000/month toward his caregivers and medical supplies (which is much less than his cost to Medicaid in a nursing home!). I only had to take $5000/ month out of our retirement account; sometimes less, as so many of you have given generous dana for his care in an ongoing way. He is so happy here; thriving! (Those monthly gifts by the way, have been hugely appreciated!) Now, for 18 months I’ve been taking up to $10,000 out. The account is almost empty. Fear! Grasping. How will I take care of him? So much grief thinking about his having to be in a nursing home, where I won’t see him daily, won’t be able to talk with him (with aphasia he cannot use a phone, and I cannot drive in bad weather. So, this very generous gift reminded me to keep my heart open, to trust, and to imagine and co-create a joyful, peaceful future.
Hal reading before breakfast last month
My garden has an abundance of blooms to replace the dead ones in the vase in top photo. And on my deck many clusters of cherry tomatoes are getting ready to ripen. Every conditioned thing passes away and the new comes. Who knows what it will hold, but we, you and me, co-create it, with love or with fear and a closed heart.
Bring on summer’s flowers and tomatoes!!