Body discomfort woke me this morning, pain in my back, my knees, my neck- all nothing new. This body is 83 years old and there is arthritis that stiffens through the night. I lay there in bed just feeling weariness, sadness and also compassion for myself; inviting compassion because it was not immediately there, so choosing compassion for this human being with an aging body. By choosing, I mean a kindness to myself, noting the aversion to pain and just bringing my hands to my heart saying, may I be well. May I be happy? May I be free of suffering? May all beings be well, be  happy  and free of suffering.

I brought attention to the aversion, allowing myself to breathe with that aversion; right there with the contraction of aversion is openness. Sometimes at a time like that, conscious gratitude helps to balance the aversion. In this moment, for what am I grateful?

I was comfortably warm under my covers on this frigid morning. Once my eyes were open, his clue that I’m awake, my loving cat Joey, jumped up on the bed and snuggled in close. I had been to the bathroom and checked in on Hal. I found him very comfortably asleep with a little smile on his face; so much gratitude for his presence right there in the bedroom next to mine. After 60 years together, this is how we both want it. My bedroom windows face east. I lay there watching the dawn gradually grow brighter, a small bit of radiant rose spreading color across the eastern sky.

These cold mornings, I often climb back in bed under the covers to meditate. Sometimes I sing or chant as I begin. This morning, “Morning has broken…” (Cat Stevens) to greet the pink glow of early light.

Morning has broken like the first morning
Blackbird has spoken like the first bird
Praise for the singing, praise for the morning
Praise for them springing fresh from the Word

Sweet the rains new fall, sunlit from Heaven
Like the first dewfall on the first grass
Praise for the sweetness of the wet garden
Sprung in completeness where His feet pass

Mine is the sunlight, mine is the morning
Born of the one light, Eden saw play
Praise with elation, praise every morning
God’s recreation of the new day

Morning has broken like the first morning
Blackbird has spoken like the first bird
Praise for the singing, praise for the morning
Praise for them springing fresh from the world

Heart feeling more open; then into the silence. Body more at ease (I did take ibuprofen and my heating pad helped too). After chanting I lay there, eyes open with my morning view of light, tree branches, sky…, resting in awareness for a bit, just breathing, my heart beating a soft thank you, then releasing even that: no body, no breath, no thoughts,   but just a sense of spaciousness and gratitude dissolving into pure being.