Sitting, eyes open, this morning, quietly present with the thick dawn mist. Squirrels and birds suddenly appear out of a cloud of white, then disappear again. Tree branches likewise. Nothing is separate; everything arising out of the cloud and falling back into it. I began to look at my mind as the mist, nothing solid, thoughts rising and falling away without solidity. There’s a lot of planning at first; nothing solid. Worries; nothing solid. Emotions; nothing solid. Body discomfort; nothing solid. What remains? What is the nature of this pure presence?

Tension and spaciousness do a dance. I (this presence I call Barbara) am the spaciousness into which tension arises when conditions are present. To push away the tension or the causes of tension is a kind of dishonesty. The conditions were present, so the tension did arise. I can’t pretend there was only spaciousness.

I bring my attention to the causes of tension – what are they this morning? My first attention it goes to the news; this shooting in Minnesota really has bothered me. Why? It goes beyond anger for the murdered woman. I know we are all that woman, constantly interacting – a dance-with the world around us. Feeling helpless, I am unable to control things in my world.

I see the ground of this helpless feeling is fear; being unable to control. That reflection brings me to myself; I’m working so hard at strengthening my aging body but I cannot force it; I can exercise; I can eat wisely; but ultimately it’s still going to age; feeling helpless! No matter what I do, this body will age, weaken, eventually die. Can I live this process with love?

I spend some time chanting -metta, karuna, mudita, upekkha – And feel my heart opening, feel the tension reduce, begin to ground in my true power: my light, my love! Our Light, our Love.

Aaron reminds me that anything that I co-create today must come from the place of true essence. Can I hold the intention to do my best to speak and act from the core of my being and to notice when I’ve lost Center; to take a deep breath and relax back into it. He suggests this co-creation to be our focus for the Jan,17 workshop

Written by Barbara Brodsky, Founder and Guiding teacher.